zondag 6 september 2009

Macau: F&F

The Macanese mosquitoes are as quiet as turtles (the small ones not the giant turtles that lay eggs on the beach). This unique quality gives them the chance to strike 4-5 times without being noticed. When the victim senses the silent attack and the lamp gets switched on silent Macanese mosquitoes still die in the same disgraceful manner as in other parts of the world.

When 3 European girls are bored in Macau they watch Twilight (of course for the 4th time at least) secretly hoping that some hot pale vampire is spying on them while they are asleep. His role in the fantasy includes also a speedy vampire flying over to Bali for the weekend. Any Asian physical vampire features are dismissed (to be continued).

Typical Macanese delicatessens are: roasted pig muzzle, chicken fingers, steamed claws, marinated blood. The last one looks like somebody puked tomato sauce on the plate and you have to eat it with chopsticks. Enjoy your meal! Poor vegetarians stick to rice with see-weed or asparagus.

When you see plates with food on the street it’s not sympathy for the homeless (actually homeless people are quite rare in Macau, have you ever seen a Chinese homeless person?). The fruit, candy, biscuits and home made cakes are for the hungry spirits that dwell among humans after death. The ritual is as old as time and includes also the burning of fake money (?!?!?!) in front of the house door. These spirits must be really needy

Even though the general public believes that chopsticks are the most common Asian eating instruments, the spoon, fork and knife are well integrated into the Macanese table-based culture. Their utilization, however, is rather unorthodox. The spoon, held in the right hand, is used as a fork on which all food is swiftly shoveled up with the fork, held in the left hand. The fork’s purpose in this respect is similar to the well-know good-table-manner-role of the knife – to just select food and direct it towards the fork. To sum up, the fork plays the knife and the spoon plays the fork. Question: who plays the spoon? The teacup?

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