woensdag 28 juli 2010

woensdag 21 juli 2010

dinsdag 20 juli 2010

All apologies

I see people throwing their present well-being in the hands of time. For the greater good, for the future well-being. I see my friends desperately trying to make sense of this whole thing. Is this what we signed up for? What's next? House. Mortgage. Family. Work. Work. Savings. I see my friends toiling day after day in a company they cannot stand, in a position that is below their capabilities, that is mocking their potential and destroying their self-esteem. Is this what we signed up for? Graduating from college just to find ourselves on a continent that's grown stale on progress, that does not value the fresh mind, but experience. Why the hell do you need 5-7 years of experience in a changing world? And for a job that is kind of on the brink of becoming useless anyways. Well, that is the issue. Europe is not changing, it is stuck somewhere in its former glory, admiring and desperately trying to maintain the policies and values that made it the Europe that we know. The truth is Europe is a big mess – politically, economically, socially. And whatever happens or does not, everybody's favorite excuse is that “We are in a crisis”. Oh, sweet crisis, please never let us go!

So, I see my friends day after day putting up with their ridiculous jobs, working their days away until the weekend comes again. Week after week. Month after month. They grew desperate, because now it is not a shitty job you do just to pay your rent while finishing your education. It is The Job. And it seems that it is not going to end soon. And how can they not grow desperate living in a country that hasn't been able to form a government in months. Where the social system is about to end up in shambles as a few major companies are going to seize power over the majority of social services. Private insurance, private education, private water, gas, electricity providers. Sweeeeet. Can't get enough of it.

What is left for us – the foreigners. We have invested so much in ourselves, we know it is not supposed to be easy at all. But may be, just saying may be, some countries should consider the idea that we are not here to steal, corrupt, make big money and then piss off (at least most of us are not). We are here to live, work, pay taxes, consume and may be bring some fresh mind to the West European aging population, 30%-40% of which is going to retire within the next 10-15 years. And I know that some people are really on friendly intimate terms with the Crisis, but without foreign labor this continent is going to hell, with all its glamor and traditions.

I am a positive thinker by default. I know that we are on a waiting list and it is just one hell of a bad luck that we have just graduated and feel high on how smart, capable and innovative thinkers we are. We know the world is supposed to land in our hands at one point. Soon, my friends soon, the HR manager who is telling you that you are not illegible for the job, cause you are lacking experience with some super easy software (it is a big deal because it took her/him at least 10 years to learn typing) is going to get a final pay check and head for the peaceful years of retirement in the south of Spain. Until then, some toiling around is necessary but Kofp hoch, they will leave us alone someday.

maandag 19 juli 2010

Distances

In order to chase away the disturbing thoughts of palm trees and coral reefs, I got an offer to visit one of the trippiest places in Holland. And when I say trippy I mean exactly that. After four years – well, just theoretically – spent in the Netherlands I am quite certain about my expectations from the Dutch countryside. Vast green meadows that can strike you only with their flatness. Occasionally you see a cow, a windmill or a river. Such a beauty it is the good old Holland. Apparently, there were still a few undiscovered territories and one of them surprised me with its ... well I really think that “trippy” is the right word to describe its characteristics.

Imagine walking in a normal North European forest and suddenly you come across a huge sandy dune, surrounded by bush and more of the same painfully familiar North European forest. Where did the sand come from? Are we still in Holland or we missed a turn somewhere and wandered off to the south of Sudan. You see, sandy dunes in the woods is not a common sight in Noord Brabant and we just had to sit in one of the tens of green oases of the Dutch Sahara contemplating this unusual landscape. As we sat there we expected a giraffe to loaf about and feed on the tree leaves. None appeared whatsoever. I though a couple of Joshua Trees will be a fine completion of our unsettling surroundings.

The motto of the University – well that's positive thinking – that I have gust graduated from is Discover Your World. It is amazing that I have spent so much time in this area and I have never been to this place, just a few miles away from the centre. May be the coolest places are just under our noses. No need to travel thousands of miles in order to discover the world. The world is right there in front of my eyes. I used the opportunity to take a couple of shots, just to have some equilibrium among my albums. Too many beaches, sunsets, monkeys and temples. Its now time for forests, pine cones, churches and city lights.




zondag 18 juli 2010

Phosphor


"But as longs as you feel it
I am a believer
My heart is phosphor
sea rolls, death tolls
break the surface don't break my bones"
(Future Reflections, MGMT)

A few nights ago, after the final drag, carefully washed down with an Albert Hijn red wine, her Highness smiled upon me and I sat in front of the Macbook.
And as usual, all these confused, culture-shocked feelings, thoughts, emotions poured down onto the Word sheet. I had no idea what I wrote down that night until now. I am not completely sure I understand it now either.

"I am traveling. I drift towards images and feelings. I feel the weight of the world. People have shown me that there is no spoon.
Every time I meet people who believe in the positive change my heart is filled up with so much... probably the word is love. There are people out there who know what's in store for us. They have not read it in books, heard in from conspiracy theorists or talked about it because it's hip. They know. Everything is known. Learning about it from external sources only confirms or refutes the information that we already have.
There will be a positive change. We' ll make it happen. People are talking about it and feeling it their hearts. Regardless of the pessimists or the ignorant who prefer not to mess with it, not to get involved and not to destroy their comfort zone. It is happening already.
How could otherwise be possible to travel the world, meet tens of people who feel the same way as you do, who have the same certainty about the future as you do. When we meet and talk and smile upon each other, there is electricity in the air, there is an unbreakable love bond, there is God in the air. And we barely know each other most of the time.
Within in the past two weeks I met two of these people. One in Bali and one in Breda. It took a conversation to figure out we are on same the track, looking in the same direction, searching for the rest of us out there. Once we get in touch there is no letting go and no turning back."

woensdag 14 juli 2010

Visions

Senses working overtime
Trying to taste the difference 'tween the lemons and limes
The pain and the pleasure
And the church bells softly chime

(Senses working over time, XTC)

The one and a half week in Europe passed in oblivion. My weakened stomach, accustomed to light noodle soup, tons of rice and tea, had to succumb to the heavy European high-fat and -carbohydrate diet. Dutch bread, cheese, beer and smokes have been rummaging my body, filling it up quickly, inflicting unthinkable pains. Who would have thought that a year in Asia could transform my eating habits so much that een beitje gouda kaas, twee biertjes en een mooie jointje will be so painful?
But painful or not, I am enjoying every single moment of it. The smell of Europe, the sounds of the church bells, the eetcafes under the tree branches – so typically European. And so inexplicably different at the same time. Breda is a different town. New shops, new bars, new cafes. Even the people around me are different. New girls (hotter), new boys (much hotter), new hippies in the park (much weirder). The music in the park every Tuesday seems to be better. Everything is different, but I guess I am the one that has changed. I seem to be enjoying everything much more, observe much deeper, be spontaneous more often. This must be it, right? This transformational power of traveling that alters you mind set. You feel it when you slip between the landslides. When you realize that the world is so incredibly small and changing, and you catch yourself thinking big, across continents and cultures, beyond languages and nationalities.
And since there is no home, or no place that truly feels like home yet, it seems like the trip never ends. It's good to be back in Europe. My bohemian nature is waking up again.

maandag 12 juli 2010

I can't sleep


Musical escapes.
It's from the Drifter soundtrack.
It reminds me of the 20/80 rule even though the songs is not about that.
The 20/80 rule states that 80% of your life, the decisions you make and the directions you take are influenced by 20% of the people you meet in your lifetime.
So watch out for those life-changing characters out there.
And be brave, we'll be alright.

Bali.

I wonder what is it about this island that enchants people and forces them to return and stay? There is something magical about it, captured by its very name, contaned in its flavors, sounds and colors and preserved vividly in the traveller's memories. Bali is the island of the gods, where every stone, tree or river is possessed by a spirit. The entire island is the entrancing dance floor of the Hindu, Buddhist, Muslim, Christian and pegan gods, an unearthly orgy of the deities. No other place could make you feel so .... spiritualized.
Bali is one of those places that truly catches the essence of the phrase “a clash between the east and the west”. Where we, the Westerners, seek that special exotic thrill in the faces of the Balinese, in the sounds of the Gamelan music, in the taste of arak cocktails and peanut dishes. It is the story of trade page after page. The valuable richness of the East pursued by the hungry for passion West, only to become corrupt and marketable.
Bali for me was 15 days of bliss, a bliss that may have changed my life in ways that I am still unable to grasp. Bali has its own methods of allowing certain events to take place and all what happened there feels like destiny. As if from that first moment when I became aware of the existence of the island I was moving towards it and step by step, year by year, I was making those 15 days possible. “Being at the right place at the right time” has never felt so real. Let's just say that for a second there I saw the life I want to have and I know that every step I take from now on, consciously or not, on my own account or for somebody else's sake, will be moving in this direction. Not talking about houses and cars and husbands and professional plans, but about a peace of mind and a mental state of consciousness. Not about a final destination but about an ongoing journey. And let's leave it at that.




Backwards

How do you return to normal life after being away for 18 months?
The beaches, hostels, trips and travel mates reluctantly need to make way to taxes, (un)employment, room rentals, housemates and wages. The traffic is organized, the streets are clean, the food is tasteless. Your friends talk about TV commercials and you have nothing to say. You sit in the backyard, watching the hot air balloons wondering what happened to your life, to your consistent planning, to your ambitions and desires. They have left without a trace.
You find yourself staring at an advertisement “Aruba v.a. 500 Euro” on the bus stop and drift back there. Back to the scorching heat, back to the mosquito nets, back to the rum cocktails with people from all over the world. The bag pack is empty, the bank account is empty, and your head seems to be empty. But its not. It's filled up with memories, with hellos and goodbyes in 20 different languages, with random cultural facts, city maps, with various currency exchange rates – info that was a survival necessity just a few weeks ago and now becomes completely useless.
So what can you do while sipping on a tasteless carton juice box? Sitting, waiting, wishing.
It just seems amazing how your life changes with an online booking. Select, pay, confirm and that's it, your own ticket to the other side of the world, the other type of life that used to be yours.
It is yours, all these lives are yours, they exist simultaneously, you exist in many dimensions. And when they clash you witness tiny emotional explosions. Seeing my Indonesian simcard at the bottom of my bag in Breda was the saddening but necessary collision of two worlds that will probably never meet again. But when the ceiling is high and I am drifting in that direction, all these worlds come back, all my parallel personalities seem so close and vibrant. That's why I can never stay.

zaterdag 3 juli 2010

So, I am at Hong Kong International Airport and will be boarding in about 15 min. I am not sure if this is the end or the beginning. I know one thing though ... I have never felt younger, healthier, more unbound and positive.
My body will land in Europe in 15 hours, but parts of my mind will remain in Asia.
And Bali... Bali may have opened a new chapter.